There’s no doubt in her mind now that she would have jumped if they hadn’t found her. Helaena had been in her arms, shrieking miserably.Īlicent had begged her and begged her to stop crying, that she could do no more for her, that they were both helpless.Īt some point, the crying faded into nothing, and the next thing she knew, she was standing on the window ledge, staring down at Maegor’s Holdfast, with her baby girl clutched to her chest. But she can’t forget the screams of her ladies-in-waiting, how they’d dragged her off the ledge. She tries to forget what she’d done days after the birth, as if it were nothing more than a horrible nightmare. Helaena was born and her depression grew worse. When Aegon was born, no matter how it traumatised her to give birth so young, she had celebrated, thinking life would be better now that she was the queen who had managed to birth a male heir for the king. He always wanted you.” She lies to her children with ease, just like she lies to everyone else. In a rare moment of affection – slapping Aegon was the worst thing she could have done in that room, she sees that now – she stroked the back of his silver head and made a soft, comforting sound. “Why does he like them more than he likes us?” Aegon mumbled to her when she could get a sober word out of him after the incident. Her regal status could be snatched at any moment should the king die.īut her children she bore and birthed, they are hers.Įven so, they still ask for their father. Her name of ‘Hightower’ belongs to the men in her family. Her title of ‘queen’ belonged to a woman more well-loved by her husband. Nothing else in her life has ever truly been hers. Alicent has the right to be possessive over them at least. The old man gave his seed and withered into the peripheral. Viserys plays no part in her judgements upon herself. You knew how obsessed he was with those beasts.
There is no fire and blood to reckon with here.Īnd yet when she sees her child suffer, she wants to burn down this cursed castle with herself in it. It’s tucked away into the neat folds of her green sleeves, a problem for later. Madness to Alicent was never a legible concept.
#Far beyond the shadows of doubt crack
He doesn’t like the servants touching it.Įach crack in Aemond’s young voice drives her further into madness. Now he’s back in King’s Landing, in the safety of his own chambers, and his voice cracks when he asks his mother to help apply salve to his eye. He was forcing himself to grow up faster in the face of a cold, callous court, just as she once had. Alicent took one look at her son during the confrontation with Rhaenyra, and understood he was pretending to be a man.
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